Full Easter Basket

[Warning this post may be TMI for those who don't want to know about "female stuff"]

So I have been on the hormones for a couple weeks now. One shot in the morning to suppress my natural hormones, another shot at night to stimulate my ovaries.

The first shot didn't affect me much but by the second day of the second shot I quickly learned that I needed to wear elastic waistbands. My ovaries went into hyper-drive and within a couple days they were swollen and had several follicles over 12mm on each of them. This is decidedly uncomfortable and painful at times. It is much like having a cyst, except as of today I have about 30.

The other uncomfortable part of this process is the constant check-ups. I have been getting a pelvic ultrasound every other day, and each time it is a different tech. It can feel a bit like being on display. "Welcome to my uterus, stranger of the day, please no flash photography, the left ovary is shy." There is also blood drawn each visit, and the nurse today switched to my other arm because the right one was getting too bruised.

But it is all worth the hassle and the pain, this morning the tech was quite impressed by my cluster of potential eggs, and sure enough I got the call this afternoon to take my final shot tonight that will stimulate the maturity of the eggs in preparation for harvesting on Monday. Three to five days later we will have a selection of embryos ready for implanting. Exciting!

I also find myself oddly proud of being the most productive little hen in the hen house. I am free ranged, but not hormone free ;)

The Road to Motherhood: Part 3

Last week the baby making kit arrived in the mail; two boxes from a specialty pharmacy filled with four different types of hormonal drugs and lots of needles to go with them. Up until this point in my life I have had needle phobia and could not stomach the idea of having to inject myself ever, let alone once an maybe more times a day.

The first injection was the worst. I did as the nurse said, pinched my belly fat, put the needle on my skin and then wanted to throw up. I just couldn't do it. I called for Charles to help, but he was on a phone call and wouldn't be done soon. I was still pinching my skin. I started and stopped a couple more times, skin still pinched. Then finally I just turned away and plunged. Sure it stung and was ooogy, but I got passed it, although a bit light headed. And I left myself a vicious bruise that is still there four days later...whoops...dont pinch your skin for 15 mins unless you want bruises...mkay?

Now I am a pro.

Slight hesitation the second morning, but now it is a breeze not even slightly uncomfortable, and even better no marks :) I know the needle gauge gets bigger for the next shots, but at this point I say to my needle fear...Bring it! I no longer fear your steely prick.

So far so good. Not feeling any real adverse effects from the drugs either other than possibly being a bit more sluggish in the head than usual (couldn't manage to open a single door the right way the first time last week).

As we get closer to the retrieval and implantation in about 2 weeks, the reality that the journey I have been on for the last 5 years might actually pay off in motherhood excites and scares me. But I know now that it will happen and when it does I will have the added benefit of being able to tell my child how much they really were wanted, and even exactly how they were made. No embarrassing "mommy and daddy got naked" stories for our Baby G! Oh no more like "Once upon a time there was this lonely petri dish...."

The Road to Motherhood: Part 2

A separation. A chance re-meeting of a handsome friend of a friend. Long chats and the discovery that we both want to be parents (amongst other common interests), a romance ensues. My divorce. His divorce, a whirlwind romance and overseas move that left shocked family and some shattered friendships in its wake. But what came of it was a wonderful marriage to my current and final husband and I wouldn't trade it for anything.

But still parenthood was apparently not just a matter of finding the right partner and forgoing birth control. Oh no couldn't be that simple for us.

In June of 2009 Charles and I were married and immediately started trying. When three months passed with no luck I started using a hormonal monitor, to make sure we were getting our timing right. (FYI...this strategy does not make for very romantic evenings) Still no luck after nine months and not being a very patient person and having already passed my 30th birthday by this point, I decide to see a doctor.

Well turns out doctors will not treat for infertility until you have tried for over a year. They did some basic blood tests to confirm hormone levels but then sent me on my way to return when a year had passed. After the year had passed and we had moved back to the States I was right back in a doctors office looking for answers. What could possibly be wrong with me. Had I made all these life changing decisions only to find out the catalyst was never even possible for me?

More poking and prodding and tests, and the doc suggests while they are running me through the ringer, they may as well check out my husband too, since after all the male is the other 50% of the equation. (Which you think would mean they would start with both spouses from the get go, but apparently women need more testing? Doesn't make much sense to me other than society simply being used to placing all responsibility for reproduction on us for some many millenia).

Well turns out a hernia surgery several years before threw up a barrier for my sweet husband's little swimmers and try as they might, they simply could not get past to assist in all our efforts.

But finally we had an answer and along with it a solution! IVF which stands for Invitro Fertilization. We shall make this baby with science! HUZZAH!

Even better, thanks to Charles' outstanding medical coverage through his company, the procedure is covered, which means we will not have to choose between a house or a child. Sweet!

Poor Hubby had to go in for a surgery. I also had a few more uncomfortable tests and exams before insurance was ready to give the greenlight for our first round of IVF. But it will all be worth it when I finally have a positive result on a pregnancy test, we are so close.

The Road to Motherhood: Part 1

(A Disclaimer to my readers: the next few posts will be a departure from my usual sewing related fare, but I promise I will return to sewing projects as well. In fact I have been working on some things lately, I will update soon. So feel free to ignore the mother related posts as you see fit as the costuming posts will not cease.)

If you had asked me at 22 if I wanted to be a mother some day, I would have told you "No thanks. Dogs are more than enough for me. Children are for other people who don't mind missing out on all the fun that the world has to offer." I liked kids, I just liked handing them back to their parents when they cried or got dirty or broke something, etc. This was fine though and my boyfriend at the time agreed as well. We were content with a life of careers and work and dogs and friends and bars and travel. All of our hard earned money went to us and our even harder earned time went to doing what we wanted and not carting anyone else around. what maternal instincts I had went to raising too very spoiled and pampered husky mixes, my furbabies whom my parents even came to affectionately refer to as their grandchildren.

Fast forward about 4 years to 26. That boyfriend was now a fiancee the dogs were no longer puppies and that biological clock started ticking.

Now I always thought the idea of the "biological clock" was a load of horse s*** created by society to guilt women of breeding age to just stop fooling around and do their biological duty already. But turns out there is some basis of truth to the old adage...not that we have to have children, but that your body may start producing hormones that sure make you want them. I still remember the first major sign that something was changing. I was walking through a store (either Homedepot or JoAnns since that is where my crafting and improvement led me most days) and a woman passed with a child of probably about 18 months in her arms, and my entire being cried out for that child. I am not kidding. there was no logical explanation for it, but I suddenly felt a physical ache in my heart and breasts and loins for a child. I had never felt anything like it before, but if yearning could be put in an IV and be flushed through my body like a drug in a hospital, that is exactly what this would be like.

I did my best to try and ignore that incident as a one time freak occurrence as my soon to be husband and I had agreed back when I was 22 that we never wanted children and would never have any as an agreement of our relationship, I had surly did not see any ticking clocks around him. But unfortunately it was not a one time occurrence, and as more and more of my friends started having children around me and I started noticing the others in various stages of growing up, I started to seriously re-think my stance on motherhood. Maybe I was missing something.

It started becoming more than just the hormones, and I started seeing places where dogs could not do what a child could. Didn't I want to raise someone that I would not be guaranteed to have to watch pass in under fifteen years? Didn't I want someone around who might look back at me with my same face, but with a mind completely of their own? Didn't I want to relive those Firsts of discovery of the greatest things in life through another person? My first time at a live play. Chasing and catching fireflies on a warm summer night. Backyard camp outs. Dance classes/ sports/ favorite books, etc. I have life lessons to teach and extra love to give and suddenly career and husband and dogs and hobbies, just don't seem to be enough anymore.

This was unfortunately not a good thing for my marriage. I foolishly told myself that maybe, just maybe I could start explaining these things to my partner and eventually he too would have this revelation that I did. That was not the case. We had a few discussions and for a while I thought he was coming around, but then a clear point would be made such as a firm "No" when I looked at him once whilst holding a friend's baby in my arms. It became clear that despite being newly married I was going to have to make a choice between motherhood and my partner and best friend of six plus years.

I chose motherhood.

But of course it was still not that easy.

A Winter's Dream of Spring

This is my Natural Form Era entry for the Double Period Project on the Historical Costuming site Your Wardrobe Unlocked http://yourwardrobeunlockd.com.

I switched a few months back from doing the 17th century skirt I have written about here, to Natural Form era when we decided to try a local Steampunk group and they had a Winter Ball coming up. So in switching gears I did some research and was inspired by this gown:

There was something about the simplicity of it and I also wanted to try my hand at making my first corset, which would be a corselet and if I was going to the effort of making it from a pretty asymmetrical pattern, why hide it under a dress?

So I got underway wih finding patterns. I am not very familiar with Victorian so I went with some known patterns.

First the underskirt which is Truly Victorian Pattern 121: 1879 Petticoat with detachable train. I made it from muslin I had in my closest, which is why it has a patchwork appearance, but I needed it to be durable and washable, as this undergarment will need to stand up to being under my walking skirts when adventuring in the woods.

I made it with the detachable train which I attached with buttons I have from the jar my great grandmother used to keep spares in. My only complaint was that after washing the netting lost it's oompf so the back is not as fluffy as it originally was. (It also makes a great Cat Catcher)

Next layer is the top, which is just a basic peasant top pattern in white China silk with short gathered sleeves. And the underskirt, which I made from white taffeta and this lovely accordian lace which I fell in love with because of it's pleats.

The pattern is the TV 225 1878 Fantail Skirt. First a pick of all the layers of ruffles....

Then the finished skirt itself which is pulled into that lovely bustle shape by use of a ribbon along the back panels.

Now that is a lot of white. Time to break it up with a bit of blue and silver to keep up with the icy theme.

I wanted to get that same long draped apron in the two toned color scheme from my inspiration so I used TV324 1878 Long Draped Overskirt using a turquoise blue faux satin and silver silk dupioni. I have to say I love the way this drapes and how the light catches in the silks. The poofyness of the back was also a pleasant surprise.

And now for the final piece and the one that chose the colors for all the rest... the corselet. I spent a long time finding the fabric for this because I wanted this to be the only pattern, but I wanted something wintery but with birds and I wanted to explore the idea of creating something asymmetrical and mural like, so I found this lovely piece of faux silk to inspire it all. Using the pattern for TV492 1890's Victorian Corselets and carefully making my seamlines and where my pieces would meet, I cut out the pattern piece by piece, making sure a tree ran down the front and getting in as many of the birds as I could. And this is what I got.


I used steel bones on all the seam, the middle and along the back. I used rings instead of gromments because I didnt want to break up th pattern, and I also wanted to use these lovely jewlery clasps along the back.


All in all I love it, and felt lovely in it. I hope you like it too.

Vintage Vouge Submission

So it is finally done, not exactly what wanted, but I still like it. I took V1084 and swapped out the full skirt for a pencil line skirt. I smoothed the neckline and added the more modern leather belt.

I wanted to add an optional full skirt that could be belted on-top for a party, but with the move and troubles with getting my UK machine to work in the US, I ran out of time. I will complete that part later. In the meantime the dress is complete in its most wearable format and I could easily see myself wearing this to dinner or a job interview. I wills till need to take it in some so that it fits me personally though. I started having difficulty being able to get it on and off of the dummy so I left personal fitting until after the competition judging and for when I have a workable machine back in my possession. You can't see it in these pics, but my hand sewing leaves much to be desired and takes too damn long :)

So there it is, my first outfit entered into a sewing competition. Wish ou could see it in person. The wool is beautiful and soft and the whole thing is lined in the prettiest lilac silk dupioni, which you could have seen in the full skirt had I finished that part. I'm not expecting it to win me anything but I am very glad I did it.

-Z

Vintage fitting complications

So the 18th century dress is on somewhat of a hold as I try and complete my entry for the Vintage vogue competition which has a deadline of the 18th of August (right in the middle of me moving back to the States).

I am combining 2 different vintage patterns (see earlier post for pics) so I did a mockup in muslin to make sure it would work right. Luckily I have a new dress dummy who works very well for this, but as I discovered today, I need to mark her centerline. I fitted the pattern which was too lose and the waist too long originally, but when I tried it on myself I could tell I moved the centerline when I was pining.

So now I dont trust the new pattern enough to go to the wool yet. I have used greaseproof paper to make new pattern pieces and I will do another muslin mockup to hopefully get it right this time, as there are some tricky pieces in this bodice since the sleeves are part of the front dress piece.

I should upload pictures soon so you can see what I am talking about.

As for the embroidery for the 18th century, that is coming along, I almost have my first basket done :) I expect this project will take a while and not sure it is will be completable for the Double Period Project submission in February, but I'll keep going and we'll see how far I get.